Tip for Grievers #15

Grab for the branch when you can. But you won't always be able to and that's okay.

I debated a lot before posting this. I really don't want to be insensitive or suggest the impossible. Everyone's walk with grief is different. So take this, as with everything I post, only if it feels right to you.

A few years ago, I had a realization while in therapy. I tend to get swept away by my emotions. Feeling fully was right, I believed. Actually, I still do believe that.

I believe that listening to your body and your emotions is a vital part of being a whole and well person. But I have come to understand that there are different ways of reacting when my emotions surge. In particular, I have a choice if I exercise it early enough.

If, before venturing willy nilly into the rapids of emotional turmoil, I can see that there's another fork in the river. If I can magically be transported to the bank of the river, like by grabbing an overhanging branch, I can see the big picture and choose not to be tumbled and tossed.

Nice theory. In practice, it only works for me sometimes. If I see the rapids approaching, I have a better chance, but sometimes I'm smack dab in the middle of them without a clue as to how they just appeared. Sometimes, I see them coming, but the branch is just too high and I don't have the energy to jump. And that's okay.

I'll get to the other side. I have friends who care. I have a daughter who comes to hug me and watch Parks & Rec with me, helping me feel more whole again. I breathe, slowly, deeply, and mindfully. It will be okay. I am loved and I love.

Reach for the calm, if you can.