Tip for Grievers #28

At this crazy-ass time, when the world seems to be falling apart, don't forget that you already have first-hand experience of what this feels like. All the coping skills that you've been developing, stumbling into, putting to work are useful now as well.

Perhaps biggest among them, for me, is to realize that it's okay to feel things - to feel grief, fear, anxiety, sadness, and frustration. And it's crucial to know how and when to move beyond them.

My therapist gave me great advice: set aside some time each day to simply feel whatever comes up. Go with it, sit with it, observe it. Just let it be what it is. Don't judge. Don't criticize.

When the time is up, do something totally different. Something active perhaps- take a walk, dance to a favorite tune, take a bath or a shower (yes, taking a shower is active for me!).

And if you feel stuck, bring yourself back to the present using a grounding technique Zoe shared with me. It's useful for panic attacks and acute anxiety, but I think it works really well when you are stuck in grief or your feelings are too overwhelming.

Sit comfortably. Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths... slowly... inhale to a count of five, hold for one, exhale to a count of five. Then open your eyes and name out loud:

5 things you can see

4 things you can feel

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste (feel free to grab a piece of chocolate at this point)

Having personally used this multiple times, I'm a fan. It helps me remember that right now, right here, I'm okay. I am managing. I hope it brings some peace to you also.