Tip for Grievers #26

Fall in love with yourself.

It's been over a year now since Tom died and I've learned one really significant thing. I have begun to learn to love myself - truly love myself the way I want to be loved.

Mock me if you will, but it's hard to fall in love with yourself if you've always excelled at self-criticism.

It may seem an odd thing to raise with regard to grief, but my grief has taught me I need to adore me, to cherish me, to protect me. It also means learning to love me just as I am (in the words of Mark Darcy), not just my favorite parts, but to have patience with my flaws. It's about learning to forgive myself, cut me some slack, and believe that I am operating from the best of intentions. (And then making sure I do.)

Yes, it's self-centered, but in the best possible way.

By loving myself more, I have more love to share with others. I am less sensitive, less self-conscious. I am more me pure and simple and that's how I want to be in the world.

As a sign of commitment to myself, I bought myself a ring to welcome in the new year. It's silicone and flowers bloom on it. I like feeling it and reminding myself that I am worth loving me.

Try it. Love yourself.