Tip for Grievers #6

As hard and scary as it may seem to set aside time just to be with your emotions and thoughts, try some meditation or a breathing practice.

I've been using the Headspace grieving series of 30 meditations and they are really wonderful. They allow for the fact that everyone grieves differently and in varying degrees. Stanford is really fortunate to have the amazing Tia Rich, who oversees the week-long Contemplation by Design event at Stanford. She also does weekly meditation sessions at the Windhover Contemplation Center on campus. I went last week and it was deeply moving and helpful.

I also use conscious breathing to center myself. Tom said that when he was last in the hospital, one of his nurses suggested that he try to breathe in to a count of five, hold for one, then breathe out to a count of four. It was supposed to help with anxiety. It's been working for me and I'm grateful he shared this tip.

Some years ago, I read or heard some advice about grieving that said one way to handle the waves and washes of emotion was to set aside some time each day to feel everything, then seal it all away until the next day. I don't know what I think about that (as an emotional person, it seems weird and wrong to put aside your feelings), but I do think there is merit in a time to feel without judgment or analysis.